Seriously. On Sunday. I left my Bible and my journal in my car. And as a result, I haven't journaled since Sat. Is that really all it takes? Too lazy/scared of the dark to go downstairs and get it? So I switch to my Carl Hiaasen book instead? Again - is that really all it takes. And even now, as I look at this critically, I know there's no chance I'm going downstairs. Way too alone in here and too dark out there. I guess there's some excuse due to life's recent reminders that nothing is certain and everything is finite.
So yesterday I read my Pslams online. And the night before, I read my book, A Woman and her God. So at least I know that I truly miss this integral, constant part of my evening. Just not enough to go outside. Ouch. Or maybe its been good for me - actual praying instead of writing my prayers. Sometimes even though I know no one is going to read my journal, I write for how it would look. Kind of like now. Instead of just concentrating on direct connection with God, I think about what people might think of me when they're reading it. All the time knowing that's not going to happen.
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