Power

I think the biggest thing I really KNOW now as a result of this trip is the POWER of our Lord.  I get so worried.  So sure that if I don't do it it won't get done.  so many things I think are like this. I think about getting every check mark on that to-do list.  from little things - can't go to sleep without doing the dishes - to big things - telling people about the love and acceptance of Jesus Christ.  

I put this weight on my shoulders like I am in charge.  But that's my ego-self.  To think I think that I have any control over anything important!  I saw God do the impossible this trip - so many legs made, so many people told that Jesus loves them, a one-ply AK socket without any test sockets!  And I really felt my helplessness of it all.  

These are skills I know I don't have, things I'm can't even pretend to be in control of.  

And God really showed me that if He wants something done it WILL be done.  He can work through any hands.   He can train in ways we understand - school, my recent transfemoral patient who's residual limb is very similar to my Ghana transfemoral patient.  But He can also just do it Himself.  Through our incapable hands and mouths.  

This is what I MUST hold on to.  Real confidence in the ALMIGHTY - all powerful, all capable, all knowing Lord.  Closeness and trust in His provision.  That He walks inside me, determining my course and weaving His will.  We don;t have the perspective to understand it fully, but I believe He gave me a glimpse.  And taught me that I haven't REALLY trusted, REALLY leaned on His power and His provision.  I've pretended to trust thinking that my ego-self can take care of it if He doesn't come through.  and now I know that I can't but He CAN.  and He does.  

So from Ephesians 1 and 2 - 

the eyes of my heart have been enlightened.  I now know

 - the hope I am called to

- the riches of my inheritance - constant, eternal true love starting now and continuing forever

 - HIS incomparably GREAT power - His mighty strength that raised Christ from the dead and now is IN me through His Holy Spirit. 

I am sinful and selfish, following the ways of the world and gratifying the cravings of my sinful nature, But my Lord gives me GRACE.  He made me alive with Christ, raised me up in Him and seated me next to Him.  He is saving me a place as His beloved. 

I am God's workmanship - created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for me to do. 

And I can trust without anxiety that what God wills WILL HAPPEN.  Exactly as He wants.  God can bring good from evil and production from failure.