So here I am bombarded by the real world again. I've spent the last 10 days completely outside of regular life in so many ways. I think the most striking thing to me is how self-centered my life is. I don't necessarily mean entirely focused on me, but I mean more entirely driven by me and my desires and my have-to's and my todo lists and my whims. Everything I do is about me. Even the things I think I make myself do - all driven by me and my decisions and my list of what's important. Some things more self-centered than others - the daily chocolate, guitly pleasure of "So you think you can Dance" on TV, and others seemingly others centered - time at Agape Corner Boarding school. But really all decided by me, all prioritized by me. The past 10 days I have been completely out of my control. every timeline, every action all either decided for me or focused outward. Peter and Gracie in control of where and when and what I eat and do and go. Working all day long with other people in mind. Truly very refreshing. Frustrating sometimes - 9th straight dinner at the Novotel - but refreshing. Living without focusing on myself. Will have to think more about this. Obviously can't live letting someone else make all your decisions for you, but I think we are called to live less-Leigh.
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